I am sitting here giggling to myself as I read the story of the plaques. That might seem a bit weird, I know some of them aren’t funny at all and I am not laughing about those. What I do find amusing is the beginning of the story, with Pharaoh’s magicians.
Geniuses these guys were.
So we start off with the water changing to blood which is pretty nauseating really. But wait, Pharaoh has his own magical peeps who are gonna help out…oh wait, nope, they are just going to make even more blood…. Hmmm.
Ok, the blood was gross and no good since people didn’t have clean water to drink but that one is over now. Unsurprisingly this fickle ruler goes back on his word immediately though so God has a new plague for him. Frogs. (I must admit, I love frogs so I have always thought this was the mildest of all the plagues, although the thought of stepping on them on accident or finding dead frogs everywhere is pretty nasty.) Billions of frogs everywhere, in bed with you, in the bath with you, in the ovens, in the jars of food, in your shoes, in your underwear drawer. Croaking all night long, ribbit, ribbit. (Ok, I find this all really funny since I like frogs and am in a weird mood)
It is ok though! Pharaoh’s guys can handle this! They have magic too!
“Come on guys fix this for me!”
“No problem, boss! We got this!”
And they do! No….wait…..they just made even more frogs. Hmmmm. This seems counter productive to me. God must have been chuckling to himself at least a little bit.
Ok, so Pharaoh realizes his sorcerers are pretty much useless so he begs Moses to pray that the frogs will go away and promises to be nicer and let them go worship. He picks the day and Moses agrees to pray. Moses cries out to God and the frogs die.
Now it gets nasty and there are dead frogs absolutely everywhere and they stink so bad and everyone has to clean them up and pile them up and…..gross, the whole of Egypt reeks of rotting frogs.
Surprise! Pharaoh changed his mind again. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.
Ok so time for another plague, this time gnats, all the dust turned into them so that is pretty horrible to think about. Normal springtime black fly population around here is bad enough without them being as numerous as the dust! Biting, swarming, flying up your nose, mouth, ears, take some time to think about everywhere you find dust after being in the desert or at the beach, now replace that mentally with gnats… Ok stop now, that is just disgusting.
“Don’t worry boss! We can do that too! Just a watch…”
They strain, they sweat, they start to freak out a bit because failing the Pharaoh was no small thing. They tried again and again.
Nope, can’t copy this one.
Honestly why they would even want to is beyond me!
Hey got a bug problem? Call Little Egypt Termite & Pest Control they can double your pest population! (Yes that is a real business I found on Google, no, I don’t think they actually have a “bring in more bugs” package.)
Ya, not sure what these guys were thinking but they failed and realized, why this guy isn’t just a magician like us, this is actually God.
It seems like, at this point, Pharaoh either quit bothering to call the magicians, maybe did something unkind to them, or they just gave up coming because it doesn’t seem like they tried replicating the other plagues. Probably a good thing, I don’t think trying to create more boils would have been smart….
“Don’t worry Pharaoh, Moses can give you painful boils? Well check out the ones we can give you!” Can’t see that ending well….
The rest of the story isn’t very funny at all, Pharaoh keeps hardening his heart, going back on his word and ends up losing his son and the first born sons of all his people. Pretty sad actually considering how differently things could have gone if he had humbled himself from the start and apologized and made am amends to the Jewish people.